Our Silenced Sexualised society
Statement of intent: I want to express my strong opinions on how oppressed we are in our society in terms of speaking openly about sex. Through examples I show how this stigma has made it extremely hard for sexual abuse victims to come out about what's happened to them. I want people to understand how difficult it is and hopefully change the mind-set of some of my readers.
“Do you like the way I flick my tongue or nah?
You can ride my face until you're dripping c*m.
Can you lick the tip then throat the d*ck or nah?
Can you let me stretch that p*ssy out or nah?”
Rapper Ty Dolla Sign sheds some lovely lyrics in his smash hit “Or nah” earning 370million views and 221 million streams. Bravo to the visual team! Showing women seductively crawling towards the screen, in very revealing lingerie just begging for the no.1 spot on the charts.
I’ll answer the question that’s probably on your mind right now… You read those lyrics, so straight away you see the type of influence our society is under at the moment. Here I am, a 16 year old girl, who at the mere mention of anything remotely sexual is deemed a whore by peers, adults and society. It's promiscuous of me to be curious of this vulgar subject: But it’s accepted and worshipped for music artists (as an example) to objectify women in such a disgusting way.
The whole problem with this is that we are creating a cycle. From a young age we grow up listening, seeing and speaking as if a body is merely a commodity. Without any regard for personality or dignity, some take this objectification as a permit to run wild and sexually exploit people. It's as if clothing brands, magazines and music videos are encouraging this behaviour. For some ignorant reason no one seems to hold them accountable: So victims carry on in the shadows of their assault and continue living amongst the monsters society is creating.
Our society demands women to bow down and donate their slutty little bodies, it's absolutely disgusting. Societal resources, such as media, help create this sexual zeitgeists we live in. Through using various sexual motifs, Advertisements have to be the worst. They act as the biggest women objectifying media out there.
Firstly they show us provocative videos or photos that just ooze glamorous clothing, lingerie and various other fashion accessories they encourage us to buy. These ads then secondly get in our minds convincing us how great that crop top will look or how having these stilettos will be ‘life changing’. In the case of men, brands such as Calvin Klein shows women literally hanging off the male models. Get in quick boys these boxers will have every girl begging for your love. So the ad wins and we buy the clothes. We then go out radiating confidence in our cute new crop top, to be Instantly abused. Wolf whistling- called a slut and given all round dirty, judgmental looks. It’s completely demeaning.
Do you actually realise that it’s sexual harassment?
Whenever I bring up that line you boys love to use the ‘flattering’ card. Don't even TRY say that to me... Having a group of guys checking out your ass as you walk by, or have them comment on how you look can make a girl feel so small to a point of being beyond uncomfortable. We all wonder why the teenage generation is riddled with self-loathing and insecurities, well ladies and gentlemen here you have the epitome of our cause. Due to ads, or any other media that follows the belittlement of women, we listen to how they describe people and then include this in our everyday conversation.
Here is where the major problems start. It becomes our fault when some man who can't control his sexual drives, takes it upon himself to rape or sexually harass a girl. It’s our fault because “no no no she was asking for it dressed like that”-Actually unless I verbally say “hey yeah lets have sex” then no I’m not fucking asking for it! How things like rape and sexual assault happen is still beyond me. How one person can think that it's okay to forcibly make someone have sex is absolutely disgusting.
We are expected to jab our fingers in our ears and never speak of this ‘sex’ thing. Teenagers (boys and girls) miss out on extremely important information during the prime time that sex becomes something you start doing. As a society, this is where we really muck up. There's one group trying to change this called ‘Red my lips’. Red my lips is a worldwide campaign that tells young people what consent sounds like, looks like and how to recognise red/stop when it’s not given. A group of girls really wanted our school to get behind this and get in speakers to educate the student body on such an important topic.
Immediately this got shut down: Our principal felt that having this conversation would be promoting sex so wouldn't be aloud. PROMOTING SEX!! Actually we are teaching young people, prime victims of sexual assault, how to keep themselves physically, mentally and emotionally safe. I understand that the principal's job is to moderate and filter the school environment to make it the best conditions possible. Something I’d like to ask however is would you rather a young teenager to be prepared for a sexually confronting situation or allow them to be sexually exploited and damaged for the duration of their life?...
Why are you adults so scared for us to be aware and talking about sex. We’re allowed to praise Kim Kardashian for her great big ass: girls bodies are allowed to be hung out as nothing more ‘bangable’; so surely a small talk about consensual sex isn't a big deal. Objectification among our society has gotten to such an extreme point that red my lips is desperately needed in order to keep a majority of our youth safe.
On the topic of sexual assault, the #metoo movement is taking the world by storm. Starting from a single story of sexual assault from Alyssa Milano against Harvey Weinstein, has now branched into a worldwide phenomenon. Over a million people have since come out with rape experiences such as Ashley Judd and Jennifer Lawrence. A tidal wave of chatter about such a concealed subject is finally happening, with the backing of various actors, musicians and many other influential people. Males are also heavily involved in this movement with #howiwillchange. It's a massive step for our society, making people finally feel safe enough and accepted enough to talk about such a difficult subject. The stigma around sex generally makes it so much harder for rape victims to come out about their experiences, I’m glad that we've seen this and are starting to change. If consensual, loving sex is frowned upon how do we expect victims of such a vulgar assault to speak out and feel supported? #metoo is giving some light on this and is starting to open up pathways for people to become more aware of sexual assault.
In such a silenced society it’s completely revolting just how accepted things like “can you lick the tip then throat the d*ck or nah” and celebrities naked bodies plastered all over magazines. I can’t speak about anything sexual unless I want to be labelled as a ‘Hester Prynne’. Here's my last message to society: I'm going to talk about sex, regardless if that makes me promiscuous (or whatever else you'd like to label me as). I'm going to talk about it because if clothing, songs, movies and various other parts of media can be so sexualising I’m done being hushed down. All I want is an environment where people feel safe not matter their experiences. Young people need to know how to protect themselves from sexual exploitation and need to know it’s okay to talk about regardless of society’s viewpoint.
Written by Tayla-Lee Bainbridge
